Soaking

I am home from school today - a holiday. My husband is working and my daughter is at school. I kept this day sacred because it was needed: sacred time with my Savior.

Only women understand this phenomenon. Since I have been home on this sacred day, I have blown the leaves out of my yard, front and back, and I've "thrown in" a couple loads of laundry. It takes everything in me to sit on my porch and well, just sit.

My soul longs for the sanctuary of the Lord. Day and night I long for Him. My heart seeks Him all the time, and because I need Him so much, I pray without ceasing.

But I feel guilty.

I feel guilty sitting.

What has this society done to women that makes us feel like we are worth nothing if something isn't accomplished? Maybe this is a Carrie thing - I tend to always be "doing," but I don't think I'm alone in this.

A wise friend shared with me that if the ONLY thing she does during the day is seek His face then she has fulfilled her purpose.

Now, of course, I'm not advocating for laziness or doing nothing (any husbands reading my blog right now are beginning to worry). But I AM advocating that we need to SOAK. As I sit on my bed writing this blog post I can see two baskets of laundry that need taken care of. My daughter's room certainly needs some organization. I have waited for weeks to paint my kitchen table. And now my dog is barking in the back yard.

Everything screams for our attention. Why is it the voice that saves our lives gets ignored the most? All of these things - laundry, table, room, - they will waste away. They aren't eternal. I cannot do anything else well in my life if I am not living in the overflow of the soaking of my soul.

We have time for everything we choose. We make time for coffee with friends, watching that favorite TV show, sleeping, going to that concert or shopping for groceries. But what I hear most lately is how busy we are (myself included).

This is dangerous.

We aren't getting the deep, intimate, soaking we need. There is NOTHING good in us, only God, so if He is the only good, how can we get what we need in a quick two minute devotional read?

We can't.

So I asked the Holy Spirit to push my guilt aside and I sat in the majestic cathedral of my back yard. I read His word and soaked in His presence. I intentionally looked for Him - how He was working and what He was saying.

I just sat still.

And it was very difficult for this extrovert "doer" to do.

But my soul was refreshed and my heart is full.

And funny how all those other things seem to fall into place when I allow the Lord to create the good in me instead of trying to do it all myself.

Press in to Him, all you broken. He will make you new.